michael’s delusion

all around me are simple minds
simple minds draped in the glory of their ignorance
for them, this is truly bliss
happiness is relative
and peace is an abstract
that can only become reality
when the struggle for it is lost
for all around me are simple minds
draped in the glory of their ignorance

jwturner
at Central State Hospital, 1984
Indianapolis, IN
written from what i thought might be the perspective of a patient named “michael”

one of my lost poems

relief-iation

when life’s biggest problem is ambulation
you sometimes turn to self-stimulation
not solely by choice or premeditation
you just want to find some relief
so you wiggle your fingers in exhaltation
and puff out your cheeks in wild jubilation
and try extra hard to fight off the frustration
that comes from the pain and the grief
but sooner or later there comes the temptation
to shake off the boredom and seek consultation
on the most proper way to acheive sure elation
but no one offers to teach
so you turn to yourself to avoid confrontation
and try to decode all the strange information
that exudes from the people who stand at the station
which is clearly out of your reach
we say your retarded beyond remediation
yet lay out a plan for your normalization
but no one told you about the situation
what if it’s against your beliefs
so we carry out our plans for behavior modification
without true concern for long term implications
maybe we’ll achieve some real satiation
but do we really care in the least
why don’t we worry about wars between nations
and find out the answer to high rise inflation
let’s forget about Terry’s self-stimulation
and leave him alone in his world of elation
life’s tough enough without all this frustration
all he really wants is relief

j.turner
7/2/84

And Donna Screamed On And On

Donna screamed on and on
while Marlene sat in silent ecstasy
staring at her beat up water bottle
as if it were all there could possibly be
Ronnie never even blinked
he just colored by himself
the rest of the crew was stage left, watching
as “her” coloring books were put on the shelf
“you’re a bad girl,” they said to her
then Sandy mimicked their words
Miss Fipps just gave a sly little glance
as if to say, “this is absurd”
but no one noticed Altha Houghland
sitting by the window talking
she talks to herself and counts the cars
and waves to the people as they’re walking
Mitzi never said a word at all
nor did Sarah, or Terry, or Mable
oh, it wasn’t because they didn’t notice
it’s just that they’re not really able
finally it got too much for Altha
and although she is usually kind
she screamed “shut up” at Donna
old folks always seem to just speak their mind
for a moment there was a strange space of silence
and a chance for me to reflect
on all of the intriguing personalities
that i will probably never forget
i remembered that Ronnie was moving today
i just couldn’t imagine him gone
then the silence was broken by Terry’s loud blow
and Donna screamed on and on

J. Turner
6/26/84 | 8:15-8:30 am
New Castle State Hospital

The Mental Ward

Doris lives for cigarettes
Donald wants some too
they fight for them like animals
which makes this place a zoo

jwturner
central state hospital
1984