i miss you

your face
on my screen is
gripping my brain
I know it’s a photo
but it drives me insane
it’s solely to blame
for the sleep
i’m delaying
for this moment’s
unfraying
for the demons
i’m slaying
for this game
that I’m playing
for this price
that I’m paying
for the urge
i’m obeying
for these words
I’m relaying
and the ones
I’m not saying

jwturner
8/28/09

i want more

they get
the top to do
the most of few
the first of you

they get
to be desired
to be inspired
the you not tired

they get
blessed by you
the zest in you
the best of you

I get
what’s left of you

jwturner
6/29/09

The Poem Store

Walking out of Moscone Center in San Francisco, our group happened upon Zach Houston’s Poem Store.

Zach sits outside with an old typewriter and pumps out poems on ripped scraps of paper. He simply asks what you want your poem to be about and you pay him what you wish. I had no cash, so I borrowed three dollars, including a $2 bill from Ira Serkes and polled the group for what I should ask him to write about. Ginger Wilcox suggested, “Love.” That’s one of my favorite topics, so that’s what we went with.

I was going to just type in the poem he wrote for me, but you really can’t get a feel for the poems he writes without seeing them. So here it is. Thanks, Zach.

her first letter

her words were written on the page
but they had lips
and they spoke without the rage
that used to be us

i could hear her voice
inside my heart of hearts
so familiar i cried
for the first time since the end

for a moment
i wished she were near
holding me while i cried
telling me i had nothing to fear
making me believe it

but my tears fell on hardened ground
this heart of mine
and soon i couldn’t hear the sound
of her familiar voice inside my heart

it waits now in silence
ready to be torn apart
by more words from her

jwturner
7/1/87

after reading the first letter from cindy… after several years apart.

i find myself lost

i can’t find myself
when I find myself
wanting you
like i want you now
i can’t see myself
when I see myself
needing you
like i need you now
i can feel myself
when i feel myself
missing you
like I miss you now
i can’t find myself
when I find myself
lost in you
like I’m lost right now

jwturner
missing you

i need you now

i did not need you
when you burst into my life
but i need you now

jwturner
a haiku

this is how i know

i
am
sure
we met
in a dream
and we kissed
and i fell to my knees
and clung tight to your waste
and buried my face in your arms
and asked you to never, ever let me go
and you held my face & whispered, “always”

this is how I know that dreams really do come true.

jwturner

her heart

i listened
to her heart today
to the sound of her heart
pounding relentlessly inside of her chest
fighting to get onto the page

i listened
to her heart today
to the sound of her soul
rising up from the depths of her being
falling hard onto the page

i listened
to her heart today
to the sound of her dreams
casting aside the chains of compromise
running free onto the page

i listened in awe
to her heart today

jwturner
10/05/2007

marveling at her heart

i do not miss you

i miss cheers, friends and sex in the city
but i do not lust for their return

i miss college football in february
but i do not yearn for its presence

i miss staying up late to listen to johnny
but i don’t thirst for the sound of his voice

i do not miss you

i thirst for the sound of your voice
i yearn for your presence
i lust for your return

jwturner
9/29/2007

missing my wife