michael’s delusion

all around me are simple minds
simple minds draped in the glory of their ignorance
for them, this is truly bliss
happiness is relative
and peace is an abstract
that can only become reality
when the struggle for it is lost
for all around me are simple minds
draped in the glory of their ignorance

jwturner
at Central State Hospital, 1984
Indianapolis, IN
written from what i thought might be the perspective of a patient named “michael”

one of my lost poems

i find myself lost

i can’t find myself
when I find myself
wanting you
like i want you now
i can’t see myself
when I see myself
needing you
like i need you now
i can feel myself
when i feel myself
missing you
like I miss you now
i can’t find myself
when I find myself
lost in you
like I’m lost right now

jwturner
missing you

i need you now

i did not need you
when you burst into my life
but i need you now

jwturner
a haiku

this is how i know

i
am
sure
we met
in a dream
and we kissed
and i fell to my knees
and clung tight to your waste
and buried my face in your arms
and asked you to never, ever let me go
and you held my face & whispered, “always”

this is how I know that dreams really do come true.

jwturner

of her

thoughts of her distract me
they haunt the halls of my mind
and startle me

the feel of her lingers
long after her touch has been removed
and comforts me

the sound of her is deafening
it drowns out all other voices
and focuses me

the want of her enslaves me
traps me in a prison of fantasies
and tortures me

jwturner

great

i am
you are
we are
life is

jwturner
in the moment

you can’t contain passion

i wish I could
bottle this passion
i wish i could sell it in stores
beside haute couture fashion
or along side of chocolate
in candy aisles
and watch as the throngs
would line up for miles
people would flock,
they’d buy it in scores
in malls, boutiques
and grocery stores
i’d be richer than rich,
wealthy beyond measure,
if i could just bottle
this emotional treasure

or i could step up
and just give it away
free passion for all,
every single day
that would be nice,
a huge worldwide win
and everyone could feel
what i’m feeling within
but i can’t even keep it
bottled inside me
you can’t contain passion
you’re feeling so strongly
so i’m letting it flow
right out of my head
and onto this page
in a poem instead

jwturner
9/29/08

you are not here

I cannot watch you
but I can see you
I cannot touch you
but I can feel you
I cannot hold you
but I am in your grasp

you are not here
but you are right here

jwturner
9/19/2008

1am in las vegas

if i dream

if i toss
and i turn
if i grit
my teeth
if i try
and i do
if i fall
asleep

will you
be there
if i dream

jwturner
9/9/2008

the wind

the wind burst
into my comfortable room
without any warning
brushing against my skin
jarring me from sleep
waking me to dream

a seductive aroma
hung on its breeze
mouth watering
sinful and sweet
like dark chocolate
i longed for a taste

but the wind withdrew
as quickly as it came
only the memory
of the aroma remains
keeping me wanting
constantly hoping
yearning for the wind’s return

jwturner
9/5/2008