Category Archives: self

in the attic

i like to tell myself
your place in my life
is completely undefined
but the simple truth
is you’re in a box
i can’t admit is mine
discretely hidden
in a secret place
that only i can find
not far away
never hard to reach
masterfully enshrined
behind a thick wall
through a tiny door
dutifully confined
carefully packed
beautifully wrapped
and intricately designed
nestled in a corner
sharing space with fears
in the attic of my mind

jwturner
12.12.12

lost

just when i think i can see
when i think i’ve caught a glimpse
of a familiar landmark
a clue to where i should turn next
it’s disappears
it simply vanishes
into the shadows of doubt
that surround me in your absence

i look around for a friendly face
someone i could trust to guide me
but everyone feels like a stranger
even the image in the mirror
stares back at me, like a child
and the children riding with me
are simply counting the days
till you return

i’m lost without you

jwturner
1/9/2010

In My Way

the goal is clear
the path is not
it is guarded
by a familiar foe
a powerful legion
anticipates every move
one thousand men
with just one face
mine

the goal is clear
the path is too
i just need to get out
of my own way

jwturner
11/29/2009

the line

he could see the line
it was there, always there
constantly daring him to cross

he even liked it
he flirted with the line
taunted it from a distance

but he had chosen a path
a comfortable, winding path
that would never force him to cross it

and then one day
suddenly and without warning
the path brought the line closer than it had ever been

the line sprang to life
startled, he stared at the line
and the line gazed back at him

with eyes and mouth
and body and spirit it spoke
and called his name and begged him

to leave the path

jwturner
8/7/08

Glutton For Punishment – A Haiku

you fooled me once, shame on you
second time’s on me
number three? simply painful

jwturner
5.18.2009

her first letter

her words were written on the page
but they had lips
and they spoke without the rage
that used to be us

i could hear her voice
inside my heart of hearts
so familiar i cried
for the first time since the end

for a moment
i wished she were near
holding me while i cried
telling me i had nothing to fear
making me believe it

but my tears fell on hardened ground
this heart of mine
and soon i couldn’t hear the sound
of her familiar voice inside my heart

it waits now in silence
ready to be torn apart
by more words from her

jwturner
7/1/87

after reading the first letter from cindy… after several years apart.

the ignorance of youth

i crap more sense in one day
than you spew out your pie hole in a year
and still you walk around smug
and clueless, grinning from ear to ear
because i struggle to find a way
to force you to shut up for once and hear
that i don’t like you or your ideas.
i wish i could make myself perfectly clear
serously! this look on my face?
that’s not me grinning. it’s a snear!
yet here i stand, patting you on the back
acting like i think you’re my peer

your ignorance must truly be bliss
but mine makes me want to just disappear

jwturner
8/10/2007
reflecting on a younger version of me