Category Archives: humor

Animal Poem

Do you like horses?
Of courses. Of courses.

Do you like cows?
And hows. And hows.

How about pigs?
We digs. We digs.

And sheep too?
We do. We do.

What about deer?
We cheer. We cheer.

And dogs and cats?
Do you have to ask?

jwturner

(originally written on June 28, 2008)
For My Kids

wipe that smile off of your face

here she comes, walking up the aisle
the stewardess with the plastic smile
she’s moving at a turtle’s pace
a silly look upon her face
it appears to be glued just above her chin
that ever present, stupid grin
can’t she see i’m not in the mood
to watch someone else feel so good
she doesn’t mean it anyway
it’s just a game she’s paid to play
so, i think i’ll make my flight complete
and as she passes my prime aisle seat
i’ll trip her

jwturner
7/26/87
on the plane home

you can’t contain passion

i wish I could
bottle this passion
i wish i could sell it in stores
beside haute couture fashion
or along side of chocolate
in candy aisles
and watch as the throngs
would line up for miles
people would flock,
they’d buy it in scores
in malls, boutiques
and grocery stores
i’d be richer than rich,
wealthy beyond measure,
if i could just bottle
this emotional treasure

or i could step up
and just give it away
free passion for all,
every single day
that would be nice,
a huge worldwide win
and everyone could feel
what i’m feeling within
but i can’t even keep it
bottled inside me
you can’t contain passion
you’re feeling so strongly
so i’m letting it flow
right out of my head
and onto this page
in a poem instead

jwturner
9/29/08

Photobucket Limerick

Yesterday I posted A 12 Second Limerick, in honor of 12Second.tv. When you create a video on 12Second.tv it will automatically send your video to Twitter. Immediately, Dee Lees responded with “nice limerick, now do one with a man from Nantucket. :D”

Never one to shy from a challenge, I responded with the following limerick, originally split on Twitter into 2 parts. (1) (2)

There once was a man from Nantucket,
whose photos were on Photobucket.

His friends would all snicker,
“You should be on Flickr.”
Embarrassed, he moved to Pawtucket.

jwturner
8/13/08

A 12 Second Limerick

there once was a man with 12 seconds
whose videos sought to be beckons
but no one was viewing
the words he was spewing
a waste of his time by all reckons

jwturner
8.13.2008

A 12 Second Limerick as read on 12Seconds.tv

my solemn spot

I found a spot
where the kids are not.
The time I’ve got
is not a lot.
But on this pot
a moment’s bought
to sit and jot
a passing thought
before I’m caught
before this spot
my solemn spot
is brought to not
by chance or plot
by a screaming horde
of tiny tots.

jwturner
4/6/2008

written entirely in the bathroom

Tired Of Thinkin’

Timothy Lincoln
was tired of thinkin’,
so he popped his head right off his neck.

And he laid it down
by his feet on the ground,
and his mouth said, “What the heck!?!”

His ears heard the chatter,
but it didn’t matter.
His body had already darted.

His feet began walkin’
as his mouth was still talkin’
and his eyes teared up as he departed.

jwturner
1/15/2008

captured in the moment using Jott.com
on the way home from picking up my son